Japan the cool Guy-Because Being Drunk is Fun
by TerminallyHetalian
Summary: Okay, so I started this really weird comic called Japan The Cool Guy, where Japan suddenly changes his attitude some, then everything kinda spirals into a crack-tatsic wonderland of Idiocy. This awful idea all started because of this picture I drew of Nurse England with the reactions of my OC, America, and Japan, and thus the idea was (sadly) BORN! Told in my OC's POV
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so I started this really weird comic called Japan The Cool Guy, where Japan suddenly changes his attitude some, then everything kinda spirals into a crack-tatsic wonderland of Idiocy. This awful idea all started because of this picture I drew of Nurse England with the reactions of my OC, America, and Japan, and thus the idea was (sadly) BORN! I posted the comics and picture of Nurse England on DA. Anyway enjoy the fucked up weirdness.. Told in my OC's POV

WARNING: contains, perverted-ness from my unstable 13 yr old mind, bad language, FUCK IT ! SCREW WARNINGS !

One night, Japan had been out drinking with his Axis friends. He came back at 3:12 HUNG to the OVER ! He kicked the door open with his foot and sluggishly waltzed around the living room of his family's new house. He and Greece got married about two years ago and adopted an eleven year old girl. She's thirteen now and loves cats just as much as her adopted parents.

" Sup fuckers! I'm drunk and horny, and you're all my bitches now." Oh how I love when mother is drunk. I call him mother because I found out quite soon after I was adopted, that he was father's uke." Dad and I looked at each other blankly after what mom had just said and replied," Okay !" We are such a great family ! Dysfunctional ? You can't spell that without the word FUN !

"From now on you two have new names. Heracles, your name is "My Bitch". Dad looked puzzled for a moment. "My Bitch"? he asked slowly. Man could dad talk slowly or what? His country has the world's longest anthem EVER! The worst part is that it's so long to the point where I try to go to sleep so I wont have to listen. Dad doesn't appreciate that very much.

"No, MY bitch" said my drunken mother. "I'm not your bitch" dad stated firmly. "Fine, you can be my cat bitch" said mom spilling sake all over the floor."hmm...okay."

"Neesha, your name is...PERVY BITCH." " Oh My Neko ! That name is perfect for me !" I really liked that name for some reason. I have a friend name Spider Bitch so why the hell not? "so Nihon what's with the new names?" asked dad sleepily. "we're going to rob a prison." "why do you-" "AHH !" mom screamed. " what! What's wrong!" "My rice balls itch" "Your, wha- oh...OH!" wow, it sure took dad a while to figure that one out.

Oh joy, mom was now peeing in the bonzai tree he worked so hard on growing. Well, more like he started growing, then gave up and made dad take care of it for him. "well, that's a penis" I said not very surprised at the sight before me. " "Neesha !" dad scolded. " well it's not the first time I saw mom's penis." I said with a blank look on my face.

"when did you-" "remember the time I walked in on you and mom in the shower?" I said with a smirk on my face. "uh... Nee-" "Girisha-san." mom interrupted. "what is it Kiku?" " I'm still itchy. Scratch them for me?" mom said said with that familiar pervy grin on his face. Mom makes that face a lot when he gets drunk. Dad turned towards me while I tried (and failed) to hide a huge grin on my face. Oh this was going to be fun! "uhh..." "with your mouth." mom said as he licked his lips.* nosebleed* I was right this was very fun indeed ! Dad turned to me again with a concerned look on his face. He was usually a calm and easy going man. Only a few things can break his calm state: that Turkish bastard(what dad calls Sadiq) when a neko dies, when he can't nap, and when he is concerned for his family.

"hmm... only when you're sober." * bigger nosebleed* And the night just gets better and better! Mom finally passed out at the same time he always does when he's drunk. 4:57. "How cute...He looks like a drunk sleeping neko!" Dad stared lovingly at mom for a while. I, on the other hand had an evil look on my face as I stared at mother. " Never pass out in front of two pervs !

to be continued cuz it's late and it's time for me to read more yaoi before bed. Isn't my mind a wonerful place? This story isn't even HALF as bad as the stuff that regularly runs through my mind. * evil laugh*

Anyways thanks for reading ! Hasta la pasta !


	2. Chapter 2

My drunk mother peed on the Banzai tree and passed out with his pants down. My don't I have a wonderful family?

"How cute...He looks like a drunk sleeping neko!" Dad stared lovingly at mom for a while. I, on the other hand had an evil look on my face as I stared at mother. " Never pass out in front of two pervs!" " I'm not a perv!" stated dad sounding a little offended. "Dad, before you started going out with mom, you were getting more ass than France. Everyone knows your country has the highest sex rate in the world."

"yeah... about that..."

" oh my glob. Does this mean my dad is a man-whore?" " where did you learn this stuff from?" " I learned it from mom and your dirty talk at night. You know, the walls between my bedroom and your's isn't very thick. I can hear just about everything that goes on in there." " you can?" "yep, and I use the sounds for my yaoi doujinshi. Does this sound familiar? * mm..Nihon, you're too tight, relaz and let me take you... it feels so hot... I'm gonna-* Dad slapped a hand over my mouth. " okay, okay you've made your point."

"It's extremely helpful ya know so if you can be more vocal next time. It might be kinda hard for you cuz your voice is all calm and soft but you know." "dear god. should a 13 yr old girl really be saying such things?" " nope. I'm PERVY !"

"You do have a point there though. I did tap a lot of ass back then.I guess I am a perv." " Yep, we're a family of pervs! Have you read mom's latest doujinshi, Honeys? It's about you and mom and it's really good !" " no I haven't. *blushing* So what should we do about your mother? His pants are down and his bare ass is sticking up in the air." Dad and I exchanged devious looks on our faces. He grabbed mom firmly on the ass and set him on the couch. Meanwhile, I was in mom and dad's room in their closet searching for the wonderful thing that would set our magnificently evil plan in motion. MWUHAHAHA!

Their closet was filled with costumes, vibrators, dildos, and a box with the boy symbol on them for yaoi doujins, all from mom. He basically had yaoi manga and doujinshis all over the house. Luckily I know where all of them are while dad and the other hand gets upset when he's looking for something in the cabinets and gets hit in the face with gay porn. That confuses me because basically the highlights of his life are really just gay porn provided by mom and me. Sometimes we write GiriPan collabs together.

I ran back to the living room with the wonderful thing in my hand to see mom still naked on the bottom half of his body. I don't know why, but for some reason he had a boner even though he was just sleeping. Actually, it was now 5:57 so maybe it was morning wood. Maybe dad would take care of it before breakfast. I honestly I don't care as long as nothing that looks like milk is on my toast. It was now time to prepare mom with the wonderful thing. This was going to be hilarious!

Japan's POV:

"Hey, where y'all at?" I had an uncool hangover and my head hurt like a bitch. I went to a German bar with the other two members of the Axis last night. Man can those Germans drink beer or what? Never challenge the cool me to a drinking contest. Scratch that, any contest. I'll beat a bitch with my pure coolness My eyes wouldn't open for a while and felt heavy. My eyes must have been drunk too or some shit like that. I tried ( and almost failed) to stand up. Hey the cool me never fails ! I just...tripped a little, yeah! Tripped! My eyes finally opened to the horror before me. Someone had put pictures of me in a neko costume everywhere. When I say everywhere, I mean EVERYWHERE. On the ceiling, the TV, the furniture, everywhere. To make matters worse, the costume wasn't even a neko costume. It was just a black thong, black neko ears, and a tail. One picture that really caught my attention was one of me with my legs spread wide open with half of my shaft sticking out. I found a trail of pictures on the floor leading outside. I knew this wouldn't be good. I followed the trail outside and saw the trail of pictures went up the sides of the house and to the roof where My daughter and husband were standing there grinning like madmen while holding what looked like...papers?

My POV:

Dad and I waited on the top of the roof for the last part of our awes-mazing plan. Mom came out of the house following the trail we made. When he finally looked up at us dad and I threw the rest of the pictures into the wind. Mom quickly gathered all of the pictures. I forgot mom was a ninja. wait a minute, mom missed a picture. And it was the most embarrassing of all. A picture of mom wearing my black bra and cherry red lipstick. The wind blew it into the hand of a familiar passerby. It was Sadiq ! As he looked at the picture a gallon of blood gushed out of his nose and he said " The holy heavens have blessed me ! THANK YOU !" He ran as fast as his legs could to get the pic copied into a 10ft portrait to hang in every room of his house. Mom and Dad ran after him as I relaxed and watched them while enjoying mother's sushi.

THE END !


End file.
